What Would Help You Feel Ready to Date After Divorce?

Maybe you miss having someone to share things with, but the thought of dating again brings up plenty of questions. What do you want now? How slowly should you take it? And what if you get hurt again? Take this diagnostic quiz to understand what’s making you hesitate and find a first step that feels comfortable, whether you’re ready to meet someone or still weighing it up.

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Question 1 of 10

As I consider dating after divorce, the outcome I most want is...

I want companionship without deciding where it has to lead. I want a relationship with someone who wants similar things. I want to enjoy meeting people again. I want to understand what feels right for me before deciding whether to date. I want to feel comfortable choosing to wait. I have a different outcome in mind.

Why we’re asking this:

This helps us understand what you want from the experience.

Question 2 of 10

A small win that would matter to me is...

I can explain what I want without feeling I need to justify it. I can say yes or no to a plan and feel comfortable with my choice. I can enjoy a conversation without needing to know its outcome. I can make room for meeting people alongside the rest of my life. I can take a break from dating without feeling pushed to continue. I would recognise progress in a different way.

Why we’re asking this:

This shows what a useful improvement would look like to you.

Question 3 of 10

A pace that would feel comfortable for me is...

I want to start with occasional conversations and see how I feel. I want to meet people socially before deciding whether to date. I want to arrange a date when a conversation feels promising. I want to spend time clarifying what I want before taking a step. I want to leave dating aside for now and revisit it if I choose. I prefer a different pace, or I'm still deciding.

Why we’re asking this:

This helps your result reflect how you would like to approach dating.

Question 4 of 10

When I decide whether a conversation or invitation fits what I want, I usually find...

I can describe what I want and recognise when something doesn't fit. I occasionally get stuck deciding whether something fits what I want. I often make choices I'm later unsure I actually wanted. I repeatedly continue with plans I don't want because I can't decide what matters to me. I haven't decided whether I want to date, so this doesn't apply yet. My experience is different, or I'm unsure.

Why we’re asking this:

This explores how clear your choices feel in practice.

Question 5 of 10

When someone suggests more contact or a next step, I usually...

I keep to a pace that feels comfortable and say when something doesn't suit me. I sometimes hesitate to speak up, but usually say what I need. I often agree to more contact or plans than I want. I repeatedly carry on when I want to slow down or stop. I haven't been in a situation where this applies yet. My experience is different, or I'm unsure.

Why we’re asking this:

This looks at how your preferred pace works in real situations.

Question 6 of 10

When I think about taking a step towards meeting someone, I usually find...

I can choose a manageable next step and take it when I want to. I occasionally put off a step I want to take because I'm unsure how to begin. I often postpone a step I want to take because getting started feels difficult. I repeatedly abandon steps I want to take because the process feels overwhelming. I'm choosing not to take a step towards dating at the moment. My experience is different, or I'm unsure.

Why we’re asking this:

This explores what happens when you consider getting started.

Question 7 of 10

The situation I currently find most difficult is...

I want to meet someone, but nerves repeatedly stop me taking a first step. I find it hard to say I want to slow down or decline something. I often expect someone new to let me down in the same way as before. I struggle to stop a conversation when our expectations don't match. I have a different difficulty. I don't currently find these situations difficult.

Why we’re asking this:

This identifies a difficulty you recognise in your own experience.

Question 8 of 10

The biggest effect of this difficulty on my everyday life is...

I spend time replaying conversations and second-guessing my choices. I feel drained by it and it regularly disrupts the rest of my week. I spend time on conversations or dates I don't actually want. I turn down opportunities I'd like to take, then feel disappointed. I notice a different effect, or I'm unsure. I don't notice an effect on my everyday life.

Why we’re asking this:

This shows whether and how the difficulty affects your day.

Question 9 of 10

When I try to handle a difficulty with dating, what tends to happen is...

I make adjustments, but still occasionally find the same situation difficult. I keep trying the same approach without much changing. I repeatedly feel too overwhelmed to decide what to try. I can adjust my approach or choose a pause, and that works for me. I haven't needed to address a recurring difficulty. I handle things differently, or I don't yet know what happens.

Why we’re asking this:

This helps us understand what you have already tried and how it has worked.

Question 10 of 10

Looking ahead, the change I would most like to see is...

I know what I want from dating and can make choices that fit it. I can set a comfortable pace and say when I need it to change. I can take one manageable step towards meeting someone when I choose. I can get support with a difficulty that keeps returning. I can leave dating aside for now and feel comfortable with that decision. I have a different outcome I'd like to work towards.

Why we’re asking this:

This connects your result with the outcome you most want.